You can't tell, but I've had this blog for three years. You can't tell because I decided to delete all my previous posts and start fresh. Blogging is something that has interested me for a long time, so naturally I wanted to get into it. One major problem occurred though. I never remembered to update my blog. I'd post every 10 to 15 months on average. Sometimes even less often than that. I think the issue here is that I don't have a specific subject matter to write about. I write on a daily basis in notebooks. I have a few books that are actually filled up with what could be considered diary entries, but mostly short stories, poems, and rants that somehow always come out in essay format. Thesis statement and all. That being said, I can't realistically use the excuse that I don't have habits, and thus can't develop habits. Because that is clearly untrue, with all my journal writing/painting/collage.
And I can't use the excuse that blogging is more involved than writing in notebooks. I can type WAY faster than I can write with a pen. And even designing a blog takes less time and effort than the things I do to my notebooks. My journals are all painted and carved into. All I have to do here is point, click, done. At this point I'm not even sure why I continue to try and get into this blog habit. Nobody ever read it before. Nobody's going to read it now. If I had a more interesting life I'd probably have something to write about, but then I'm kind of a private person so I'd refrain from putting it out for anyone to read. Eventhough my track record shows that no one will be reading it anytime soon anyway.
You see how my mind works? Constantly defeating itself. At this point it's probably the fact that I don't follow through with a lot of things in life. I'm always tearing down my own ideas and ambitions. This is a symptom of depression I've never been able to overcome. And something as small and lame as writing a blog once or twice a week just might help me to see that when I follow through, the world will not fall apart on me.
So, for the time being I think I'll just come here to speak openly about whatever's on my mind at that moment. And if there's nothing, I'll make something up. Tell a story or interesting anecdote. Whatever. If there is a next time, it'd better be soon.
